No Strings Attached

No Strings Attached

 

 

No Strings Attached

Hallo reader, it’s a pleasure to write down an article and share it for you. Well, today I’m going to post an article about the phrase “No Strings Attached”. Feel free to read it!

Menurut kamus online http://www.urbandictionary.com, defenisi dari frasa “No Strings Attached” adalah:

1.      Doing something for someone without asking for anything in return.

-          Melakukan sesuatu (hal) kepada seseorang tanpa mengharapkan imbalan.

2.      Being in a relationship with someone, while still dating other people.

-          Berhubungan (pacaran) dengan seseorang sementara (masih) menjalin hubungan (berpacaran) dengan orang lain.

Arti dari frasa ini sebenarnya sudah kita alami sendiri dalam kehidupan sehari-hari, saya menulis ini bukan karena pengalaman pribadi saya tetapi saya terinspirasi dari *Nsync’s sophomore album title yang sama persis dengan frasa ini.

Well, dari sinilah saya menarik kesimpulan kalau “No Strings Attached” itu sendiri berarti tanpa syarat dan ketentuan yang berlaku, seperti dalam pertemanan, hubungan percintaan dan urusan bisnis. 

Kalau dalam bahasa gaul biasanya diibartkan teman tapi mesra, nah loh! Bagaimana bisa? Ya bisa saja! Kadangkala ada dua orang (teman) yang saling suka tapi tidak mau untuk membeberkan masalah status mereka di public karena masalah privasi dan lain sebagainya. Mereka menjalani hubungan tanpa status atau biasanya disingkat HTS lol. Lucu sih iya tapi ya begitulah kenyataan sebenarnya.

Kadang saya berpikir, apa pentinya status kalau tidak cinta? Dan apalah artinya cinta kalau tidak ada status yang jelas? Ya begitulah kadang otakku merancang berbagai pertanyaan yang membuatku makin pusing dengan urusan percintaan yang kian rumit ini.

Dari defenisi pertama: “Melakukan sesuatu (hal) kepada seseorang tanpa mengharapkan imbalan.” Apakah mungkin? Setiap orang mencintai dan mengharapkan dicintai, tetapi di luar sana masih banyak orang yang tulus dan dengan sabar mencintai karena mereka yakin kalau cinta akan mengalahkan semuanya, ketika mereka dikhianati mereka tetap masih punya harapan yang meraka pegang teguh, seperti lilin yang meleleh, tetap terbakar demi menerangi kegelapan malam. Di sini adalah integritas seseorang diuji, mereka akan selalu setia meskipun banyak cobaan hidup yang seringkali menghantui, kadang dalam gelap malam mereka tak bisa tidur karena pikiran mereka merambat dan mejalar kemana-mana hanya untuk menemukan jalan keluar yang sedang mereka alami dan pada akhirnya kekuatan cinta mereka berhasil membawa meraka menjadi pemenang.

Defenisi ke-dua: “Berhubungan (pacaran) dengan seseorang sementara (masih) menjalin hubungan (berpacaran) dengan orang lain.” Banyak dari kita tak pernah sadar kalau hal tersulit dari hubungan adalah mencari, dan bila telah menemukan maka selanjutnya adalah proses penjajakan atau pacaran, nah disinilah sebenernya jati diri kita diuji. Apakah memilih setia karena begitu sulitnya berkelana, mengembara dan merana dalam masa pencarian. Namun ini sangatlah bertolak belakang dengan defenisi ke-2. Sebagian orang tak lagi menghargai apa yang mereka punya tetapi mereka menginginkian lebih dari itu. Tentunya ada setiap alas an dalam keputusan tetapi jujur saja sayapun tak paham dengan jalan pikiran dan alas an mereka.

You are what you are!

Kamu adalah siapa dirimu sendiri, jati dirimu, jalan pikiranmu. Apa yang kau lakukan maka orang akan menilaimu sesuai dengan perbuatanmu. Sama seperti ketika kamu bercermin, maka cermin itu akan merefleksikan bayanganmu yang sama persis dengan keadaan yang sebenarnya. 

You are what kind of problem you deal with!

Setiap orang punya masalah dalam hidupnya, dan masalah kita mungkin ada yang sama dan mungkin saja sama sekali tidak, boleh dikatakan kalau kita punya masalah atau persoalan hidup yang berbeda-beda. Kalau kita terlibat masalah pencurian maka kita adalah seorang pencuri dan seperti itulah diri kita sesuai dengan masalah yang kita geluti masing-masing.

Siapapun dirimu, kamu adalah kamu! Setiap manusia bebas berbuat apa saja selagi itu tidak melanggar norma atau aturan-aturan hidup yang sewajarnya. Kita bisa memilih untuk bebas berekspresi tanpa ada ikatan, tanpa adanya persetujuan dari pihak lain. We are free! Kita bebas menentukan jalan hidup kita masing-masing. Be your own self; do not depend on the others! You have freedom; you have voice, raise your voice! Be whoever you want to be! Don’t forget to be happy!

Puisi Untuk Opa Tercinta

 

Hari berganti hari
Waktu berkejar-kejaran
Musim berganti-ganti
Kemarau yang berkepanjangan
Tetes airpun mulai membasahi bumi
Hujanpun tak kunjung berhenti

Dalam tidur yang terlelap
Begitu nyenyak dalam senyap
Burung-burung mulai benyanyi
Bertukar sapa pada pagi
Membuka pagi yang mengharu biru
Dalam sayup-sayup mata yang layu
Di ujung pagi yang masih bisu
Sekejap mata terbelalak
Mulut sekan terkunci, sunyi, bisu
Mata tak kuasa menahan gejolak
Mendengar kepergian opa tercinta

Terima kasih Sang Pembuat Alam
Telah memberikan opa yang baik
Yang setia dalam malam yang kelam
Melindungi hujan yang menghujam
Menghalau badai yang kejam
Mengusir kesedihan yang suram

Tempatkanlah opa di sisi-Mu
Ukirlah namanya di kirbat-Mu
Selamat jalan opa ku tercinta
Kami semua mencintaimu.


Written by @oldryronald
November 15, 2014

Trapped

Jadi begini loh ceritanya, akhir-akhir ini saya udah terlalu baik buat orang-orang yang sepertinya gak pantas untuk dapatkan semua itu, tapi apa yang ku terima? NOTHING!
Silahkan aja kalo kamu menilai semua itu cuma modus, itu semua hak mu! but please think it over and over again, do you ever find a man like me? do you ever find a friend like me? i gave you everything i had and it's all so unconditional, you know!
Sometime you good enough for me but hey, sometimes you're such an asshole too! hey baby! what do you want from me? i just want you to stay here with me. I never mean neither to hurt and to bother you, thought!
Having a couple of days sitting next to you was the best moment ever in my life, you always come to my dream, i can see your face in every reflection, the sound of missing even if in the silence but the sound is so loud, hey honey, is this what we call love? oh no! you are too cool in handling the games, i just can say nothing at all. June and all memories have gone but i wanna thank this summer course because i feel closer and closer to you. I hope someday you'll realized that you will need me as a partner more that just a friend.
At least i want to say thank you for this such a fool game, i was trapped into deep and so hard to escape just like a genie in the bottle which was been trapped for all night long, for a century of lonely night.

Move on!

10 Tips to Mend a Broken Heart (how to move on)

By Therese J. Borchard

Bess Myerson once wrote that “to fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.” Especially if you are the one who wanted the relationship to last.
Mending a broken heart is never easy. There is no quick way to stop your heart from hurting so much.
To stop loving isn’t an option. Author Henri Nouwen writes, “When those you love deeply reject you, leave you, or die, your heart will be broken. But that should not hold you back from loving deeply. The pain that comes from deep love makes your love ever more fruitful.”
But how do we get beyond the pain? Here are 10 tips I’ve gathered from experts and from conversations with friends on how they patched up their heart and tried, ever so gradually, to move on.
1. Go through it, not around it.
I realize the most difficult task for a person with a broken heart is to stand still and feel the crack. But that is exactly what she must do. Because no shortcut is without its share of obstructions. Here’s a simple fact: You have to grieve in order to move on. During the 18 months of my severe depression, my therapist repeated almost every visit: “Go through it. Not around it.” Because if I went around some of the issues that were tearing me apart inside, then I would bump into them somewhere down the line, just like being caught in the center of a traffic circle. By going through the intense pain, I eventually surfaced as a stronger person ready to tackle problems head on. Soon the pain lost its stronghold over me.

2. Detach and revel in your independence again.
Attempting to fill the void yourself — without rushing to a new relationship or trying desperately to win your lover back — is essentially what detaching is all about. The Buddha taught that attachment that leads to suffering. So the most direct path to happiness and peace is detachment. In his book, Eastern Wisdom for Western Minds, Victor M. Parachin tells a wonderful story about an old gardener who sought advice from a monk. Writes Parachin:

“Great Monk, let me ask you: How can I attain liberation?” The Great Monk replied: “Who tied you up?” This old gardener answered: “Nobody tied me up.” The Great Monk said: “Then why do you seek liberation?”

One of the most liberating thoughts I repeat to myself when I’m immersed in grief and sadness is this: I don’t need anyone or anything to make me happy. When I’m experiencing the intense pangs of grief, it is so difficult to trust that I can be whole without that person in my life. But I have learned over and over again that I can. I really can. It is my job to fill the emptiness, and I can do it… creatively, and with the help of my higher power.
3. List your strengths.
As I wrote in my “12 Ways to Keep Going” post, a technique that helps me when I feel raw and defeated to try anymore is to list my strengths. I say to myself, “Self, you have been sober for 20 years!! Weaklings can’t pull off that! And here you are, alive, after those 18 months of intense suicidal thoughts. Plus you haven’t smoked a cigarette since that funeral back in December of last year!” I say all of that while listening to the “Rocky” soundtrack, and by the last line, I’m ready to tackle my next challenge: move on from this sadness and try to be a productive individual in this world. If you can’t list your strengths, start a self-esteem file. Click here to learn how you build one.
4. Allow some fantasizing.
Grief wouldn’t be the natural process that it should be without some yearning for the person you just lost. Dr. Christine Whelan, who writes the “Pure Sex, Pure Column” on BustedHalo.com, explains the logic of allowing a bit of fantasy. She writes:

If you are trying to banish a sexual fantasy from your head, telling yourself “I’m not going to fantasize about her” or “I won’t think about what it would be like to be intimate with him” might make it worse… In a famous psychological study from the 1980s, a group of subjects were told to think about anything but whatever they did, they were not supposed to think about a white bear. Guess what they all thought about? [A white bear.]

5. Help someone else.
When I’m in pain, the only guaranteed antidote to my suffering is to box up all of my feelings, sort them, and then try to find a use for them. That’s why writing Beyond Blue contributes a big chunk to my recovery, why moderating Group Beyond Blue has me excited to wake up every day. When you turn your attention to another person — especially someone who is struggling with the same kind of pain — you forget about yourself for a split moment. And let’s face it, that, on some days, feels like a miracle.
6. Laugh. And cry.
Laughter heals on many levels as I explain in my “9 Ways Humor Heals” post, and so does crying. You think it’s just a coincidence that you always feel better after a good cry? Nope, there are many physiological reasons that contribute to the healing power of tears. Some of them have been documented by biochemist William Frey who has spent 15 years as head of a research team studying tears. Among their findings is that emotional tears (as compared to tears of irritation, like when you cut an onion) contain toxic biochemical byproducts, so that weeping removes these toxic substances and relieves emotional stress. So go grab a box of Kleenex and cry your afternoon away.
7. Make a good and bad list.
You need to know which activities will make you feel good, and which ones will make you want to toilet paper your ex-lover’s home (or apartment). You won’t really know which activity belongs on which list until you start trying things, but I suspect that things like checking out his wall on Facebook and seeing that he has just posted a photo of his gorgeous new girlfriend is not going to make you feel good, so put that on the “don’t attempt” list, along with e-mails and phone calls to his buddies fishing for information about him. On the “feels peachy” list might be found such ventures as: deleting all of his e-mails and voicemails, pawning off the jewelry he gave you (using the cash for a much-needed massage?), laughing over coffee with a new friend who doesn’t know him from Adam (to ensure his name won’t come up).
8. Work it out.
Working out your grief quite literally — by running, swimming, exercising, walking, or kick-boxing — is going to give you immediate relief. On a physiological level — because exercise increases the activity of serotonin and/or norepinehrine and stimulates brain chemicals that foster growth of nerve cells — but also on an emotional level, because you are taking charge and becoming the master of your mind and body. Plus you can visualize the fellow who is responsible for your pain and you can kick him in the face. Now doesn’t that feel good?
9. Create a new world.
This is especially important if your world has collided with his, meaning that mutual friends who have seen him in the last week feel the need to tell you about it. Create your own safe world — full of new friends who wouldn’t recognize him in a crowd and don’t know how to spell his name — where he is not allowed to drop by for a figurative or literal surprise visit. Take this opportunity to try something new — scuba diving lessons, an art class, a book club, a blog — so to program your mind and body to expect a fresh beginning… without him (or her).
10. Find hope.
There’s a powerful quote in the movie The Tale of Despereaux that I’ve been thinking about ever since I heard it: “There is one emotion that is stronger than fear, and that is forgiveness.” I suppose that’s why, at my father’s deathbed, the moment of reconciliation between us made me less scared to lose him. But forgiveness requires hope: believing that a better place exists, that the aching emptiness experienced in your every activity won’t be with you forever, that one day you’ll be excited to make coffee in the morning or go to a movie with friends. Hope is believing that the sadness can evaporate, that if you try like hell to move on with your life, your smile won’t always be forced. Therefore in order to forgive and to move past fear, you need to find hope.

And remember to love again…

Once our hearts are bruised and burned from a relationship that ended, we have two options: we can close off pieces of our heart so that one day no one will be able to get inside. Or we can love again. Deeply, just as intensely as we did before. Henri Nouwen urges to love again because the heart only expands with the love we are able to pour forth. He writes:

The more you have loved and have allowed yourself to suffer because of your love, the more you will be able to let your heart grow wider and deeper. When your love is truly giving and receiving, those whom you love will not leave your heart even when they depart from you. The pain of rejection, absence, and death can become fruitful. Yes, as you love deeply the ground of your heart will be broken more and more, but you will rejoice in the abundance of the fruit it will bear.

Source was taken from: http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2011/02/18/10-tips-to-mend-a-broken-heart/