Rabu, 30 Januari 2013

Last day of the first month of the year.


I spend the first half hour of every morning killing myself with cigarettes and coffee
only to spent the rest of the day trying to feel like I’m not dying.
This is what we do.
Build something up and then knock it down.
Write half a poem and then crumple the paper.
Repeat until you’re surrounded by overflowing garbage cans
and clutter the cats will bat around the room.
Create a life for yourself and then change directions.
Leave the state.
Move in with someone that doesn’t love you.
Compartmentalize.
Pretend that works until you move back.
Pivot, change directions again.
Build another life.
Change cars and phones and hairstyles.
Stop running;
Gain weight.
Become a different person:
Build something new,
Continue smoking,
Have another cup of coffee,
Set goals,
Immediately ignore them.
Become the thing you hate.
Accept that loathing into your life;
Hold it dear because nothing else is that close to you.
Build up walls.
Develop a hard outer shell.
Buy another pack.
Wheeze through your days,
caffeinated and dehydrated,
until someone comes along
to shock you with the realization
that sometimes destruction
is its own form of creation.
You have to break down to the foundation
to properly build anything lasting,
more permanent.
Something you don’t have the capacity
to walk away from.
Stub out that cigarette.
Breathe in your new surroundings and finally agree to stay.

Senin, 28 Januari 2013

Powdered-Snow (Konayuki)

It's almost been 7 years already since i was watching an Asian Drama, there was something deep that touched my heart and i cried. damn it was one of the best movie ever.
I still remember its storyline very well and especially about the OST of it.
One Litter Of Tears, it's the Japanese Drama tittle, what an amazing story, it was taken by a true story.
I'm not going to post about the story anyway. I just wanna post one of the OST.
Konayuki (Snow Powder) by Remioromen. it's such a deep song and really sad indeed!
To be honest, I cried a lot when I heard that, especially the lyric of it, sooooo deep!!

 

powdered-snow, within the revolving seasons
we always miss each other
although we got separated within the crowd,
we look into the same sky
blown in the wind,
we feel the same chills
everything about you,
guess I don’t really know
even so, from one hundred million
I still found you
although i’m not really sure,
i’m seriously thinking about it
if slight quarrels may lose our laughters
then we must not live in the same moment of time
if we can’t be honest to each other
happiness and sadness are just empty
powdered-snow, until our hearts become white-dyed
let us meet so that we can share our loneliness
I want to put my ears into your heart
to hear the voice that gently leads into the depth
I want to go descend, and let us meet once again there
although I say that I want to understand,
but I can only stroke the surface of my words
even your hands that have become cold,
only by holding them tightly, we were connected
powdered-snow, even too fragile before the eternity
fell and became stain upon the rough asphalt
powdered-snow, in such time unreliable, shaking my heart
even so, I want to keep on protecting you…
powdered-snow, until our hearts become white-dyed
wrap up our loneliness, return it to the sky…

Sabtu, 26 Januari 2013

Pujaanku


Kau yang ku kagumi dalam hati
Senyuman-mu lah yang selalu ku nanti
Kehadiran mu sungguh tak terganti
Kau yang buat hidup ini semakin berarti
Pujaanku...
Andaikan kau tau isi hati ku
Dalam dan tulusnya cinta ku
Kuat dan kerasnya rasa cinta ku
Pujaanku...
Ku harap kau pahami semua ini
Bila terkadang perlakuan ku begini
Itulah semua yang ku ingini
Agar kau kan terus berada di sini
Pujaanku...
Bila saat kau berlari
Aku akan berada di sana dan memanggil mu kemari
Akan ku lantunkan nyanyian para penari
Dan bila kau tak tersadari
Akan ku peluk dirimu dalam jari-jemari
Dan akan ku berikan apa yang kau cari.

- Oldry Ronald

Rabu, 09 Januari 2013

A Song For You

A Song For You - Celine Dion

I couldn't live
I couldn't live without your love
for one kiss
well I'd give everything up
there's no words I can describe
what I feel deep inside
so I let this song say it all

Then I hope you'll understand
once you've listened till the end

Heard the music in my head
so before I could forget

I start singing
yeah I was singing
this song
for you

Just made up the words
la la la ohhh ohhh yeah
my heart with a melody

so I am singing
this song
for you



Tiap kali denger lagu ini selalu melting, rasanya galau akut!
Selain musiknya yang syahdu, suara Celine Dion juga begitu sempurna dan kata-kata dalam lagu ini begitu dalam.
Aku selalu teringat diri mu yang kian menjauh dari ku, rasanya aku tak bisa bernapas kalau tak ada kamu.
Hati ini selalu berdebar bila melihatmu, namun apalah daya terkadang ego ku mengalahkan segalanya, saya selalu menjalani drama yang begitu menyiksa, harus berpura-pura seakan tak menghiraukan mu, seakan kau tak ada di sampingku dan itu begitu melukai jiwa.
Tampaknya sudah terlalu dalam luka ini, dan hanya kaulah yang bisa menyembuhkan.
Should I give up or should I just keep on chasing the way out? please tell me!